"The path to becoming a better parent-like most every road to personal growth and mastery begins with self-examination." -Dr. John Gottman
A valuable lesson was learned today at my MOPS meeting this morning with me and my bread drawer! I know this sounds crazy but stick with me here...This drawer between 4pm and 5pm is my daughter and I's nemisis. It is during these hours that I am either trying to get dinner ready, tidy up the kitchen so I can start on dinner, or she is getting hungry, and or we are waiting for dad to get home. Little ms. Addison knows that she is not suppose to get into this drawer and will at times shake her head saying "no,no, no, no" while opening the bread drawer up(as I am doing any of the above in the kitchen). Why can't she get into the bread drawer??? you ask, well she likes the take the bread out, squezze it and hug it and bite into it...DRIVES ME BONKERS!!!! I don't know why, but right around the same time everyday, we seem to arrive upon this stressful moment almost daily in our house. My frustration levels rise and I feel like pulling my hair out at times. I try to discpline and teach her NO, then feel like the worst parent in the world for yelling at my child, for what...playing in the bread drawer!
What did I learn...To let go of the situation, what is the real issue with the bread drawer? Is it because she is in harms way, no, is it because she is trying to rebell against me, no, it's because mom doesn't have control over the situation and I let myself get so frustrated that I allow it to be pointed towards her.. I need to remember that I don't have to be in control of this bread drawer...its bread for crying out loud!! so we have smushed bread, all I am doing is creating a negative environment for me and her and is not healthy for our relationship. Yes, my child needs to learn discipline and boundaries, but I need to learn to not be so controlling over something so little...OK...I admit...I tend to be a control freak as some would say. I also learned to remember that after correcting my child I need to follow with a connection! That discipline or teaching boundaries with your kids should not just be about correcting,
correcting,
correcting, we need to make whatever the situation is a teaching moment and a moment to build on your relationship, that after you have lost it or "trying" to correct your little one by simpling hugging them and telling them, "mommy loves you, but at times I will say no and you might not understand right now, but just know that I still love you and always will!! "
